I last posted here in December 2017 when I had recently ‘self published’ a tiny ‘collection of poems’. After that I my writing frequency kept decreasing and completely stopped in December 2018. I didn’t write a sentence until today (April 2020). It has been 16 months since my father passed.

I figured I am unable to / I can’t get myself to start writing for I believe there is nothing significant left in my life to write about. I feel that the writing/poetry ‘phase’ is over- it has passed and I can’t seem to get it back. Now that I read my previous work/writings – they seem insignificant, childish and some are overly optimistic and romanticised. I have grown a lot since then. Nothing in my life seems significant enough to write about.

This realisation is saddening for I seem to have lost some part of myself, symbolised by a loss of interest in my own writings. I wonder if this has something to do with my father, his sudden demise. He was one person truly proud of my writings. I miss him, obviously.

I have been reminiscing my younger self who was passionate about writing and reading and expressing. And that energy, I can only think of it. I don’t have it now. Although I am passionate about new things (pursuing psychology as a career) I miss my younger self a little sometimes.

Certain events have put my thoughts, feelings and actions into perspective. And I have found everything to be completely insignificant.

Oh well, this post was to just give y’all an update on my life and feelings and also to inform that I’ll be posting more often now!

Yours,
Gursimran